POETRY – Too Old To Be A Toy Boy

For my darling Brian on his 40th birthday


I used to pray for a Fine Young Man,

and promised to give Him no rest;

Then I landed myself a Stud Muffin,

But now, only the muffin is left.

And while it’s true that I like cake,

and am awfully fond of pudding,

Who would of thought after 2 short years,

He wouldn’t fit into the pants, he wore, at our Wedding.


My Knight of Swords is ageing,

Now that he is four decades young,

I think that he needs an apprentice,

And have been evaluating our friends’ cute young sons.

My one time, One Bar Heater,

The Generator of so much delight,

Is no longer Energy Efficient,

But he still keeps me warm at night.


Admittedly, he does have some hair left,

Though his part is wide enough for ships to dock,

So he generally just shaves it smooth and shiny,

While lamenting the loss, of his long, curly locks,

What’s left is noticeably silver at his temples,

With chest, pubes and beard also greying,

Just like an old Mountain Gorilla,

As down his back, his silver hair, is straying.


Gumboot’s too vain to wear his glasses,

Although his eyesight is quite poor,

I imagine he still sees me as a Goddess,

Or at least the way, that I looked before.

My ageing Rooster can still cock-a-doodle,

Well maybe … for not quite as long,

But he keeps this Old Boiler happy,

As long as he never tells me I’m wrong.


Elderly women simply adore him,

Because he’s polite, helpful and kind,

While Gay men also admire him,

Although I suspect their interest, is in his behind.

Young girls might not find him attractive,

But they don’t have to be hurtful and rude,

They could never truly appreciate him,

And after all, he’s MY Creepy Old Dude!


Leave a Reply