Teddy Castledine is no longer a young man,
And with women he’s had a rough trot,
So now he’s thinking of establishing a new venue,
For luring them into the cot.
Bonalbo is a small country town,
West of Casino … in North-East New South Wales,
That soon may be bracing itself from,
An invasion of horny single males.
Teddy is fed up with city life,
And has a relocation planned,
To a house on a fully serviced half acre block,
That he can purchase for only twenty five grand,
The aspect is good … the deal is great,
The neighbours don’t seem too bad,
So Teddy is ready to start a new life,
At his Bonalbo Bachelor’s Pad.
The Castledine men generally have,
A healthy head full of hair,
But Teddy seems to have forfeited his,
For sex appeal and flair,
He has plans to entertain the ladies,
Old, young, pretty and plain,
But he may need some help from VIAGRA,
Or be forced to occasionally abstain.
Now Teddy’s nephew, Denis,
And all of his rough-headed mates,
Are inspired by Teddy’s wonderful plan,
And in fact they can hardly wait,
To visit the Bonalbo Bachelor’s Pad,
And while there … have a good look around,
To see if they too can get a bargain,
On a house in this quiet country town.
This group of middle-aged Romeos,
With hair lines beginning to recede,
Plan to stay single and happy,
And follow wise Teddy’s lead,
As the guys need their Drivers’ Licenses,
They won’t be hanging around the Pub,
But instead can provide changing venues,
Forming the Bonalbo Bachelors’ Club.