I’ve got myself a new appliance,
To help keep me warm at night,
Energy efficient … Economical,
Capable of generating much delight,
Of course … my One Bar Heater.
Is equipped with a fine young man,
Who takes pleasure in putting a smile on my face,
As often as he can!!!
One Bar Heaters are fun and easily handled,
An eternal source of joy,
Why God in Her munificence,
Gave at least one to every boy!
It’s a comforting place to put their hands,
When chaos is reigning … trouble and strife,
It often replaces the dog as man’s best friend,
And they’ll defend it with their life.
My One Bar Heater wakes me if I stop snoring,
Worried that I somehow may have died,
Concerned by the implications of my advancing years,
A vigilant sentinel at my side,
He pampers me with oily massages,
Thoroughly rubbing my legs and back,
When he’s really in a playful mood,
He’ll even give my bum a smack!!
He is the torch that ignites my cauldron,
The element in my vertical grill,
The burning log in my fireplace,
The warmth that thaws my chill.
The One Bar Heater is a handy tool,
There should be one in every home,
They aren’t too bad to take to Bush Dances either,
Oooops … Sorry … that’s another poem!