POETRY – My Sensitive New Age Valentine


I accidentally broke my first husband,

so now I’ve got myself another.

He also is my best friend,

my partner and my lover.

He is not a bloody hippy,

or a misogynistic turd,

Just an excitable young Kiwi,

who generally keeps his word.


Gay men think he’s gorgeous,

and there’s no wonder they’re impressed.

He has such lovely big muscles,

Large tattoos and a hairy chest,

Facial hair over his dimpled chin,

shaved head to hide his six inch part,

and despite his explosive temper,

has a truly tender heart.


He spoils me and pampers me,

and usually cooks our dinner.

He’s doing such a wonderful job,

otherwise we might both be thinner.

Now I’ve got love handles, turkey neck,

blancmange arse and sharpei thighs,

and International in-laws,

Who can’t drop in by surprise.


Having never been excited by,

Chocolate, perfume or flowers,

Or going out to parties,

and coming home all hours.

We watch the Union, the League,

and the cricket on TV,

When Australia plays New Zealand;

We just agree to disagree.


A world without love would be

an extremely lonely place,

My life without him would be empty,

with no smile upon my face.

The dogs and I are happy,

and don’t think we’ll change our mind,

I will always love this husband;

He’s my sensitive New-Age Valentine.


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