He was a burley young “Boy in Blue”,
On the job to enforce the Law,
But there was something about the uniform,
That made him impossible for me to ignore.
I decided to take the Law into my own hands,
Eventhough his physique was muscular and large,
When I took off my clothes … He pulled out his weapon,
And Lo and Behold … It discharged!
I said “Oh Goodness me, Officer,
You’ve given me such a fright,
Maybe you should escort me home,
And keep me company for the rest of the night!”
He said: “MADAM, I WANT YOU TO PUT ON YOUR CLOTHES,
PLEASE HURRY UP NOW AND GET DRESSED,
YOUR BEHAVIOUR IS LEWD AND OFFENSIVE,
MADAM, I’M SORRY, YOU’RE UNDER ARREST!
MADAM, YOU’VE PERPETRATED AN OFFENSE,
AGAINST THE MORAL CONDUCT ACT,
PLEASE ACCOMPANY ME TO THE STATION.”
Well how was I supposed to react?
When he then produced his handcuffs,
It took my breath away,
I thought to myself “Now this should be fun,
I know the Rules and I’d like to Play!”
I held out my arms … He placed the cuffs on my wrists,
Then locked me in the back of his Paddy Van,
He frisked me thoroughly … when we got to the Police Station,
He was really … such a nice young man.
He said: “MADAM, I’M GOING TO FINGERPRINT YOU”,
Then rolled my fingers and thumb in ink,
Left one hand’s unique mark on the paper,
Just then I wasn’t quite sure what to think.
He said: ”MADAM, I NOW NEED TO PHOTOGRAPH YOU”,
So I once again took off my clothes,
He said: “MADAM, I ONLY NEED A HEAD SHOT”,
That’s when I struck a delinquent pose.
He said: “MADAM, YOU’RE MAKING IT HARD FOR ME!”
Whereby I thought, “Well it’s about bloody time!”
Then I was manhandled roughly into a cell,
Where my Punishment befitted my Crime.
There is definitely something about the “Boys in Blue”,
So honest, healthy and clean,
That makes me want to be disciplined,
Because I’m Naughty but Nice …
If you know what I mean?
It never hurts to fantasize.